March 24, 2011

Thought #17

Why do we only want things when we can't have them?

It's human nature to want something that is unattainable. For me, I get that feeling A LOT. More than others I think. I always think about how my life would be different if I could have this or be able to do that. But every time I achieve something I wanted, it never seems as sweet. Is it because it finally became attainable?

I guess it's the whole notion of "the grass is always greener on the other side." You think we want this thing/person/goal, but when you cross over to the other side, it doesn't look as promising as before. It's a crap reality, and I don't like it.

Do you ever think about that?

March 14, 2011

Thought #16

What does "bright-eyed and bushy tailed" even mean?

And who actually uses that phrase? It's stupid and should never be repeated.

Do you ever think about that?

March 10, 2011

Thought #15

Isn't it crazy how much dirt you can find on people over the internet?

I like to think of myself as internet-savvy, and I enjoy googling things. Yes, google is a verb. It's amazing and you can find so many things that you never knew were out there. For instance, I was able to find pictures of my office on Google Images with just a couple careful search keywords. I was also able to cyber-stalk my friend's professors. I can tell her where they went to school, what their professional interests are, and whether or not they're popular with students. Yes, I'm that good. It's also a bit creepy how much info is available to people like me. What can I find on you?

Do you ever think about that?

March 09, 2011

Thought #14

How did I ever live without Netflix?

Seriously?? I'm watching Parks and Recreation from the beginning and it is the highlight of my day. I've also watched a bunch of movies that I loved as a kid and new movies that I've never heard of. I did all of this by clicking a button. I love it.

/end of Netflix advertisement

Do you ever think about that?

March 08, 2011

Thought #13

Why can't elevators go sideways?

Willy Wonka had it right. There should be an elevator that goes sideways, slantways, longways, backways, squareways, frontways, and any other ways you can think of. In other words, I want a teleportation device. Now please. Thanks.

Do you ever think about that?

March 07, 2011

Thought #12

Do Alligators consider Crocodiles their siblings or cousins?

They're so similar that you'd think they'd be siblings, right? But then again, there are different types of Alligators and different types of Crocs, so maybe they're cousins. In any case, I like to imagine a a big family reunion in the Florida Everglades. They are grilling some fish, dancing to Elton John's "Crocodile Rock", and scaring some humans by making an appearance on Alligator Alley. Good times.

Do you ever think about that?

March 06, 2011

Thought #11

Why are we so obsessed with the celebrity culture?

I am an avid celebrity gossip reader and I keep track of all the latest entertainment news, but I honestly can't tell you why. It interests me...but why? I have no idea. Perhaps I envision that they lead the perfect lives, even though I know that's not true. Most celebrities are probably selfish snobs who rather collect millions of dollars and drink champagne in their 15-bedroom mansion than live a normal life (COUGH charliesheen COUGH). I'm still infatuated though. I read and the magazine cover to cover every week. I have PerezHilton on my bookmarks. I anxiously await my copy of Entertainment Weekly every Friday. I'm a celebrity/entertainment fiend, for no perfectly good reason.

Do you ever think about that?

March 03, 2011

Thought #10

How awesome is it to be the Queen?

I mean, for one, everyone calls you "Your Majesty." I looked it up on Wikipedia. It means "Your Greatness." WAY cool! You get to ride in a horse-drawn carriage and not feel like an idiot. People will bow at your feet if you request it. If it were still the olden days, you could send people you didn't like to the Tower of London just by snapping your fingers. You can pretty much have any guy you want, because let's face it, what dude doesn't want to be a King? And most importantly, you have access to the royal jewels and crowns. Yes please!

Do you ever think about that?

March 02, 2011

Thought #9

Why does every major American holiday have some sort of candy involved?

Christmas has candy canes, Valentine's Day has all those little hearts, Easter has lots of marshmallow peeps, and don't get me started on Halloween. It seems like for pretty much every holiday you're supposed to buy candy for everyone. The candy companies must be swimming in cash every year.

Follow up question: where is the themed candy for Thanksgiving, New Years, and the Fourth of July? Better yet, where is my candy for Flag Day?

Do you ever think about that?

March 01, 2011

Thought #8

This is one I stole from a friend...
Why do all the commercials for vacuum cleaners show a woman doing the vacuuming?

I work in advertising so I know how it goes. The vacuum brands know that their target demographic is women so they cast a female to be the star of their commercial. The women watching will identify with the woman on the commercial and they gain a sale. Blah blah blah.

I say this: If the vacuum brands cast a male in the commercial (doing something other than sitting on the couch reading a newspaper or making a mess in the living room), would it spark more men to go out and buy vacuums? I sure hope so, seeing as how 96% of the male population live in filth.

Do you ever think about that?